i have been kinda sad lately.. i think it started when LK asked me if i was moving back to syracuse this summer. it has since consumed my almost every waking thought. i have always known that as much as i love MA, and everyone that makes up my life here, i will ultimately end up back in NY, more specifically when the sisters start popping out babies. when i was a child i used to fantasize about moving to colorado, but cath is lucky that the last few times i've been out there there has been a terrible drought.
as i told LK, i feel like i am treading water here in MA right now. i am making enough money to live, but not enough to really pay off my debt or save any. i am at an age right now where i'm anxious to settle down more, and be in a relationship, and make a life plan for the next 5-10 years. i really don't think i can do that here. i would imagine that nieces and nephews are coming sooner then later, and i'd like to meet someone and have some children myself.
i think a lot of this is being brought on by my turning 30 soon. i also think some of it is because everywhere i look my friends are pairing off, squirrelling away with each other, having children, moving on with their lives. i feel stuck. like candy land. :)
looking to syracuse as a possible destination is a little frightening right now. would i be able to work? my instincts say no.... unless i could change professions.. or work remotely for my current job.
ugh, its all so overwhelming... i think i need to draw out a plan and
tackle each little part bit by bit.. make a list of sorts.
well, i started thinking about this, and thinking about timelines, work makes me think in terms of quarters. so we are at the beginning of 4th quarter now, my lease isn't up until the end of 2nd quarter... so i've got 75 cents to figure this all out...
ugh, my head is swimming...
onto other news, i saw a ferrari today. a kind i've never seen before.. it was sweet.
Posts
