figure drawring tonight..

tonight i return to figure drawring.. i took last week off since i was at work so late election night (and it was the season finale of LOST) and i didn't go the week before cause it was the show opening in armory square.. soo.. tonight should be good. i didn't go into the basement though adn look for my pastels, so it'll be just charcoal again. plus, i am kind of scared to make the jump from black and white to color!! the potential for the drawrings to get muddy real fast is HUGE!!! i think that watercolor could be cool, i am more apt to go there before i venture into the pastels. but the passtels look sooooo good. ughh, such a dilemma...

beer club...

tonights beer club meeting was the best one yet. i met a couple, they were very nice. he brewed, she consumed. annnnnd, i got the coveted personal invitation to the presidents christmas party. he said i should definitely plan on getting cab for that night. sooo... cath, would you be able to pick me up and give the fischers a ride home too if i can convince them to come?

i've also decided that i want to become a card carrying 'beer judge' there is a 2-3 hour written exam plus a 30 minute tasting exam to the national beer judge test. one of the members of our club is a master or grand master judge. you have to score a certain grade on the exam, and then earn a certain number of points in judging to earn the title of grand master judge. its the highest and there are only a handful in the nation. so... i might need to switch my xmas wishlist from artwork to beermaking materials. :)

how cool would that be to be a certified beer judge? the people in the club that are judges or have taken the exam say its really hard. :) i'm up for the challenge.

i met a guy too tonight at the bar. he was nice and kinda cute, but he was 38. that is a little old for me. :) we'll see if i run into him again. ;)

as i type this, i periodically hear a phone dialing ontop of a cowboy movie. its mike dialing in voting for emmit smith on dancing with the stars. :) such a geek.

i've also decided that i need to go back to nyc. its been a couple of years since i've been and i was talking to cath about it yesterday and she begged me to let her come, so i talked to breed tonight and me and both my roommates are invited to go down. cath was last there when she was pregnant with sarah, and mike has never been. wtf... so we'll go down and do the touristy stuff, see rockafeller center, maybe ice skate, empire state building, ground zero (how awful is that that it s tourist attraction now.. ) maybe even get a ferry out to ellis island. i've been by the statue of liberty, but never to the island itself.. i'd like to see a broadway show if possible, i'm sure they want to see times square... it'll be a good time, with a free place to stay... and i know how they love the subway!! :)

beer club tonight..

hopefully this month is the "12 Beers of Christmas" party announcement.. the president of the club is a brewer over at Saranac and he makes 12 different beers at his home for this party. i think last year he made actually 18. anyway, last time he had a party i was too new to go, this time i am not so new and i actually know a couple people in the club (no thanks to my cousin who was the one that got me to join). plus its nice to drink beer just once a month. ;)

i am still in disbelief that next wednesday starts thanksgiving.. are we going out that night brown sisters and hunt brothers? i think we should. what thanksgiving is complete without a hangover?

creative weekend.

i've done a bunch of art projects this weekend... i painted, i mail arted, and i designed in illustrator. shiiiiiit, some of them are on the art blog. some of them are secret till may. fatty jumped up right on my paints as i was painting last night, getting her fat furry paws all covered in paint. luckily she is slow and i was able to grab her and cath was able to wipe the paint off of them. i would have just put her outside and let her walk it off.

it's been a rainy rainy weekend. i watched transamerica yesterday, it was a pretty good movie, i see why felicity huffman got so many accolades for it. next up from netflix is 'ask the dust' and 'the lady killers'. one is colin farrell and one is tom hanks.

a list...

while i am in this negative state of mind, i might as well make a list of bad things afflicting me right now.

1. my coworkers hate me.
2. i spent 3 hours last night, and 3 hours today recording and erasing da ali g show to dvd from the dvr i just went to "finalize" the dvd so that it will be able to read on any dvd player and i get a "disc cannot be recorded on" error. 6 hours of my life i can't get back, and a wasted dvd, and 6 more hours of taping i'll have to do to get those shows back. i think it'd be easier to just buy the dvd set from the store.
3. i downloaded and signed up for "secondlife" and my graphics card won't support it. it keeps crashing and shutting down the program on me. secondlife sounds like free online SIMS. :(
3. i haven't found anyone to go to europe with yet.
4. uhm, that is all i can think of right now, people are reading and writing inspiring things to me on my blog, so its dissipating the negativeness. thanks guys.

am i in the wrong?

where i work, there are people of all ages.... and the younger people seem to hang out outside of work, pretty often. i've never been invited to hang out with them. how do i know they are hanging out, you ask, i have a coworker who is invited to hang out or go to parties 3 times a week it seems, and he lets me know that these events are going on... i'd like to think i am unintentionally not invited... but the people that seem to be hanging out makes me think of the 'popular' clique in high school, and insecurity sets in, and the negative tapes start to play over and over in my mind...

when i don't go anywhere on the weekends it amplifies my feelings of aloneness. for example, this weekend, i'm in town and have nothing to do... i get word that there is a work gathering going on at a bar downtown. my invitation never comes, not from the coordinators, not from the coworker that is apparently in the 'cool club'. i get the feeling that my coworker is not going to go, he has plans, plus i feel awkward asking if i can go... but how come he's not extending an invitation to me? who likes to be knowingly excluded? i ended up getting wine and tried to make cath go with me to mulligans, when she refused i settled for countless episodes of the 'dog whisperer' and 'da ali g show', putting this non-invitation behind me.

this morning said coworker tells me he went afterall. hurt and jealousy wash over me. is he intentionally trying to hurt my feelings by rubbing it in my face that i was excluded? i am starting to feel rather resentful of said coworker, and the 'popular' kids.

i haven't felt this much like i don't have any friends since the first few months i moved to boston. i know "things take time", but i am a rather impatient person. does anyone have any ideas to share with me about meeting someone(anyone) that likes to be spontaneous and do things and go places? i wish LK would move to syracuse. :)

i'm feeling like i need to start seeing a therapist again.

i love wine!

cath and i stacked two tons of pellets in the shed tonight when i got home from work. it went pretty quickly, i'd say 3o minutes tops.

then i taped two episodes of dog whisperer. i was so productive today. now i'm having a relaxing two glasses of wine. don't worry, i took a prilosec. i know i love wine, but i can't remember the last time i had it, its been giving me some serious acid reflux.

tomorrow i am having lunch with mrs fischer, i taped nip tuck for them while they wait for their cable to be installed in their phat new house, so we are making a transfer. i'm glad the weekend is here.

i can't believe there are only 2 weeks till thanksgiving. insane..

i can't think of any plans i have this weekend. i think i am on call, but i'm not really sure, there is no official schedule right now, but its surely my turn.

i hope to acomplish taping all the shows (ali g, dog whisperer, greys..) off the dvr this weekend, then i want to get my cousins website edits off my plate, then i want to start and think about my sisters wedding invitations/save the dates. all while enjoying myself this weekend. :)