the cellar is clean!

so we finally finished cleaning the cellar yesterday. a real 3 day project... here are a couple of pictures, but click here for the rest. if you had ever seen the basement, these pics will be more impressive.

this morning at 930 we dragged all this out to the curb, i would guess 30 contractor bags full, and then all that other crap. by 1050, all the garbage was gone. the village came and promptly took it all. we thought it would sit there for 4 days (trash day is tuesday)... soooo exciting. i guess official trash day is just a guideline. if you want to throw out 20 years worth of shit you can do it any day you want.


this is all the trash...


this is 30 minutes after we got it to the curb.

new and improved track jacket...

i have been so busy on my vacation, i am going to need a vacation when this is all over!

well today was day three of the cellar cleaning. i am satisfied with all our progress, but i give it about a month before my parents crap it up again. every day we finish so late that i can't take pictures, i will do it tomorrow when we haul all the trashbags to the curb.

after our day of cleaning, i was able to finally get to my sewing project. sooo exciting! check it out!



i saw king kong last night it was pretty decent. i was a little confused as to why the island where kong was from was like jurassic park..

i have yet to start another painting... i am thinking and i am running out of time to do that this "break".

tomorrow my camera charger and cables should come. cross your fingers. tomorrow will also be "computer day". cath needs to be taught how to use the ipod so she can promptly forget as soon as i leave, and we need to take pictures and post the "shopsmith mark V" on ebay.. there is one there right now that is going for close to a grand. sue-eee!

losers!

cath and i went to the casino tonight. shockingly we did not win but, i am well on my way to lung cancer...so bonus!

this morning/afternoon we embarked on our huge vacation week project of cleaning out the cellar. the last time i was home the cellar gave me nightmares. i wish i had taken some pictures of it before, but i'll be sure to take some "after" pictures. we loaded up 19 large contractor bags of crap. it's pretty incredible. we have found some interesting things. emily is/was a candle fanatic as a child. so naturally, she has/had boxes and boxes of candles. i guess mice love candle wax, there were more then one candle that had been gnawed on by mice. it was kinda cool. so, lesson learned, don't keep candles in mice areas..

we are not completely done with the cellar yet. we are about 60% i would say. tomorrow we will continue. wooo who!

i am also going to dye my hair again tomorrow, and maybe start on my sewing project.

then i need to start a painting. shiiiiit.

last night jen, mike, trish, kirk and i shared a bunch of pitchers ($7 per pitcher of coors light) at mulligans. the bar got pretty packed, and i am thinking it wasn't even because of the pats vs the jets.

merry christmas!

this morning we got to finally open our presents! it was so exciting. i love christmas. i got a little nervous when i opened up all kinds of presents and no new camera. eventually i did find it. however the following pictures are not from it because it didn't come with any of the instruction books or cords, or anything..


its sooo small and awesome!!


here is a good one of cath and SB.

yesterday we took our annual xmas picture, and now industrial color labs gives you a cd instead of taking the pics on real film. it was great, we ran right over to eckerds and printed out an 8x10 for the wall. it was fantastic!


they even lets us bring the hounds.

for dinner last night i met tim at carabbas. i had never been, it was pretty good. and i haven't hung out and talked with just him since we lived together i think. shiiiiit. it was really nice.


here he is in his new subaru!

some other really exciting presents i got were a set of tray tables, and a toaster oven!!! yay! i also got a phatty set of red and white wine glasses. kitty didn't even know that i recently broke all the wine glasses we had.

ho ho hos!

once again, the gathering of mrs claus's was a fantastic time...

there were many laughs, a few celebrity sightings (ming tsai, someone from the "cars", and someone from the film studio "lions gate"), the food was good, the cocktails were better, i finally got to see the downstairs at clearys.

here are some of the more memorable shots i took.


the cleavage sisters


no outfit is complete without wool hunting socks.


can i have 1 non-see through shirt please?

and i need 1 camera that does not give vicious red eye.

happy 28th birthday ryan!

i saw "chronicles of narnia: the lion the witch and the wardrobe"... instead of syriana (yay!) i liked the movie and am interested in seeing the other two. but i couldn't help feeling like i keep seeing the same story over and over and over... the similarities between this and lord of the rings and harry potter, even wizard of oz, were undeniable. i even think that some of the characters are the same. i swear there were urakai in narnia.. wtf.. pretty much all of the aforementioned stories were written by authors with initials for first names even... c.s. lewis, j.r.r. tolkein, j.k. rowling, l. frank baum... if i ever write a book, i will be r. brown. or r.b. farrell. :) shiiiiiit.

afterwards LM and i went to "on the border". i haven't seen LM in a long time, and not since his engagement announcement. he seems to be doing well, and seems to be getting comfortable in his new status.. i anticipate conversations like this in the future. rb: hey, how are you? LM: we're good! rb: hey, are you busy on XX day? LM: i'll have to ask permission and get back to you.... LOL. i kid i kid... i like tammy a lot, and i think the two of them are good for each other. i appreciate how candidly i can converse with LM too. (most of the time) there is no tip-toeing around real questions. :) that's a good quality to have.



looking ahead to tonight, my supplier hooked me up with some anti-hangover pills. i have a feeling i am going to need them.. not only will i be celebrating the 2nd annual gathering of mrs clauses, but its ryan's birthday.. i will be celebrating at a satellite location though!

so, happy birthday ryan, even though you don't read the blog..

airborne, you are my hero

thanks to airborne, i think i have successfully kicked the cold i was getting yesterday. my face does not feel bruised anymore and my eyes are not as achey. keith also told me about this zinc cream you can apply to the insides of your nostrils when you feel a virus/cold coming on that will "trap" any virus from spreading through your nose. i'll have to look for it at the store while i am home cath..

the downside is, i do have a cold sore festering, my 3rd one ever. i haven't had one since emily stressed me out about her wedding the summer of 04. the inside of my lip was all swollen this morning. i was putting abreva on it yesterday at work, and i mistakenly left it there overnight. :( i wasn't able to reapply it till this morning. oh shooot. i just realized that i should have taken my lysine this morning with my pill cocktail of vitamin c, airborne echineacea, allegra D and my acyclovir.. shiiiiiiit. i'm a walking pharmacy.

anyone want to see pictures?

some party pics

i was re-reading my blog here and realized that it was rather wordy, and very void of pictures. so to spice it up, here are a few from the work party...


see, everyone is having a fantastic time!


especially this party animal!


check out how straight my hair is... shiiiiiit.

i feel so accomplished.

i never got dressed today. :) but i got so much done, i printed, wrote out, stamped and addressed my christmas cards. i hung all my IKEA purchases, wrapped most of my xmas presents, did my xmas cooking and packaging. i cleaned the kitchen, and watched the 2 netflix movies i had left.

one of my movies was closer. i have to say i really enjoyed it, even though it was all about infidelity. what i was really impressed with was the way the couples argued and revealed their cheating ways. it was so civilized. impressive, i aspire to argue that way. also, not to be overlooked was clive owen, i think i have a new crush.

i am in love.

i had nothing going on today so i called up KT and she was game for going to the newest tourist attraction in MA, IKEA. from what i knew of IKEA, (very little) i kind of thought i would like it.. its a furniture store essentially, originally from sweden that has really modern furnishings for relatively inexpensive prices. the only catch is that you need to put together the furniture pieces on your own. (and what able bodied daughter of mike brown that grew up with only sisters can't do that? shiiiiit)

so we drove the 45 minutes or so down to stoughton. we missed a turn, but had we followed the directions, it would have been a piece of cake to get there, so easy in fact, i am confident i could get back.. we pulled down the street it's on and we start seeing traffic signs similar to those at the airport. they were huge and all over the place. it was great. when we got close enough to see the store, i felt like we were headed to foxwoods, or mohegan sun it was that big.. the store is so gigantic that there is a parking lot mall style underneath it. we find a parking spot and head to the store, while KT christened their toilets, i took a gander at the "playroom" where you can DROP OFF YOUR KIDS. leave them there attended by someone in the store. how ingenious is that? KT and i grab a yellow shopping bag and head up the stairs to the showroom. the layout and display of their products is ingenious. i have no idea why more stores don't do things this way.. there are something like 25-30 "rooms" in the upstairs, each area is set up like a real life living space. there are couches, with the entertainment centers, end tables, coffee tables, lamps, books, artwork, floors, rugs, everything you can think of that really belongs in these areas. and each different room is decorated differently with some of the same furniture, or different stuff. they make it so easy to imagine that stuff in your space. the prices are clearly marked on everything too. then each room has a banner of sorts that totals up the entire room. so essentially you could come in, pick a room you like, and walk out with the entire thing, for say $1,457. so fantastic. the kitchens and bedrooms were the most impressive in my opinion. it so makes me want to buy a house. at the end of every section or so there are elements that were in the previous section that you can pick up and buy, otherwise, you write down the sku number and then find it at the end in the "warehouse".

the layout of the store is ingenious too, you pretty much have to meander through their entire inventory to get out to the cash registers. i could have spent my next years salary so easily on the little things i saw here and there.

half way through the store there is a "restaurant". of course the priced are ridiculously cheap, so we stopped for a meal of swedish meatballs with gravy, two potatoes and some loganberries, (swedish food) for $4. it was totally cafeteria style, and the dishes and glasses were real. after all that perusing, you almost needed to stop for nourishment.

all of this is on the top floor, on the 2nd floor is a "marketplace" where they have all the smaller items and linens, and neat stuff. their stemware and dishes and cutlery is dirt cheap. they had champagne flutes for 25 cents each.

on the way out they have this escalator like the ones they have in airports "moving sidewalk style", but it goes from the 2nd floor back to the ground floor. then neatest thing is you push your cart onto it, and the floor somehow grips the cart so it won't go careening down into the customers ahead of you. so freaking amazing.

needless to say, this is where all my new out of town guests are going when they come to visit, and i will be registering at IKEA if i ever get married.

and if anyone wants to move with me to stoughton, let me know.

trip to the ballet, take 2

i went to see the nutcracker with fjk on friday. having been to the ballet about a month ago, i learned not to wear jeans and sneakers. check. being late and ever so slightly hung over friday morning, i didn't think to dress up for work friday so i could just go straight to the opera house. so i stopped home, changed real quick and was still arrived 30 minutes after the show started. that 30 minutes must have been when the "nutcracker" was on the stage, cause i saw the guy for a total of about 16 minutes. that ballet is really misnamed, there was little to no nutcracker to speak of. kinda disappointing.. here's a list of the pros and cons of the show.

things i liked or loved.
1. there was more "dancing" per se in this ballet. that was nice.
2. the sets were amazing. each different scene had an intricate completely different set, totally all out, each one for them, very well done. one even had snow pouring down from the sky.
3. the men. their asses were so shaped and tight i was in awe. they were 85 lbs of pure muscle. and they didn't appear to have any underwears on underneath their tights. they also danced way more impressively then the women. their dancing basically just consisted of jumps and like freeze frame in the middle of the air. so impressive... i especially enjoyed the "russian mens dance"...
4. now i know where all the ringtones in my cell phone come from. and the tetris song...

things i didn't like..
1. the ADD divorced weekend dad sitting next to me. he could not sit still, he made me want to punch him. at one point i looked over and he and his weekend daughter were holding up their fingers in the "i'm going to squish your head" fashion. it made me think of survivor, and i wanted to break their stupid fingers. the father also clapped really obnoxiously. and he was "loud talker", hate that.
2. i kept waiting for one of the dancers to lose her step and fall like in ice skating. or i wanted one of their legs to cramp up, or i wanted one of them to attempt a triple sow cow and f-up the landing. you know, add some human element to the show. nope, didn't happen. i guess that is what happens when you weigh 70 lbs and prance around on your toes for a living, you are invincible.. they really did look like dolls. i couldn't help think that was such an unhealthy dream for little girls to have, to aspire to be one of these 70 lb stick figure dolls.
3. the name. it shouldn't be called "nutcracker". it should be called, "the ringtones dance".
4. i was so late to the show that i had to park in a garage. luckily it only cost $8. phew... but you know how i hate to pay for parking.

so, in conclusion, the ballet was another delightful experience. look forward to seeing it again next year.

nice!

lately i have been in no rush to leave work... at the end of the day, after my work is done i've been perusing the internet at my leisure, and sometimes that keeps me here till 8pm....

i recently added a proifle to myspace.com, which is what has sparked this "get caught up in the web" type of activity... well, myspace is so wide and plentiful a resource i have been obsessing about finding old classmates, college and high school. i found a couple guys from college, and did some random high school searches. the one i am most interested in finding is katie mcphee. i lost touch with her the year she went to walla walla. its been a good ten years i'd say... so i google blog searched her and came up with a blog from a guy who goes to clarkson i think, sounds like maybe he is a friend of jeff mcphees.... so i did a little digging and found an email address for him. he wrote about me on his blog. its quite funny... i'll let you know if i do end up getting in touch with katie..

in reading a bunch of random strangers blogs from myspace, i hear some common concerns that i have, some familiar feelings, and then i think that i am doing pretty well, and my "pains" are really not that different then other peoples.. and then there are some things i read and think, wow! i have been there, and i am so much better off right now. life is good. maybe its just cause its this time of year too. this time of year is part of the therapy high season, and i am so glad its not a crisis time for me. :)

tonight is the work xmas party. KT came over last night, (and so did angela) and we had a little fashion show to show off our party outfits. good times. good times. i also impressed KT with my pasta making skillz. she was very impressed with how good pasta turns out when you add a teaspoon or two of salt to the water. (and her degree is from johnson and wales, shiiiiiiit) i think i learned that trick from nanny, she used to put a little bit of olive oil in the water too, to prevent the pasta from sticking when you drain it, but i don't notice the benefits of that, so i don't bother...

this weekend i am vowing to finish my xmas cards, so expect an email if you've moved since last year.

happy 26th birfday sarah...

happy birthday sarah... when i see you i'll have to give you 26 spankings, and then one to grow on!

in other thrilling news, AL (her initials didn't even change when she got married) is with child!!! sooo exciitng! i'm gonna have to plan a little trip down to MD soon to see the new mommy...

so productive..

i have the most productive weekend ever and pretty much all of it took place on sunday.

1. i bought a shirt for the xmas party
2. i got the pkging i need for my work xmas gifts
3. i got the ink i needed for my xmas cards
4. i got an xmas gift.
5, i went back to kohls and got some stockings.
6. i put my bikes away for the winter
7. i rearranged the storage space so we can get in there.
8. i ran the dishwasher and put the dishes away
9. i vacuumed my bedroom, the living room and some of the bathrooms/kitchen
10. i grocery shopped and bought all the ingredients i need for my xmas gifts
11. i thought out, designed, and started cutting the linoleum for my xmas cards
12. i watched all 3 of my netflix movies.
13. i also organized all my reciepts/bills and paperwork in preparation for taxes.

friday night i went to the briar with the ladies, pretty much one of the most fun nights out i've had in a LONG time... see the evidence on LK's blog. KT has such a way about her.. her beautiful southern accent is my favorite. "BYE!"... and her blatant waste of money in the form of leaving her rum and cokes, screwdrivers, and B to the E's all over the place is so endearing. but... my favorite is when she orders the cab driver to "TURN AROUND SIR", $15 into the cab ride cause she leaves her cell phone at the bar... :) i love KT.

i must say that the chinese food place nears jens house has the best sesame tofu ever created. EVER. i might stop there tonight it was so good.

saturday i woke up with a headache. i think it was from all the laughing i did friday night. i was feeling sore friday night from laughing so much. and thank god LK was there to catch it all on film. so i took some IB's and went back to bed till 430. :) so nice to sleep it off. saturday night KT came over and we watched rushmore and we ate mexican food. i watched SNL after that and fell asleep on the couch. kind of a much needed waste of the day.

i am just waiting on a few things then i can start wrapping my xmas presents. that is my favorite part of xmas, wrapping the presents, you can be so anal about it. this year all my paper is shiny metallic stuff. can't wait!!!!!!

this coming week i will need to print my xmas cards (3 times, shiiiit), figure out the "message" for the middle, write them, address them, buy stamps and stamp them, send them. cook my xmas presents, go to the company holiday party, and go see the nutcracker on friday.

king kong comes out on wednesday. shiiiit.

aeon flux.

so i didn't get my way last night, but i also didn't have to pay. :) NS looked good. he had a cute little knit hat and nice shoes, and he smelled good again.

aeon flux was okay. it was weird, it takes place in the future. its an mtv film, and the opening scene is the same as the opening scene of the cartoon. if i was the director of the movie though, i would have made charlize theron have longer eyelashes for that part.

i'm not sure what is going to happen with NS, but i'll keep you updated.

after i dropped him off (he also apologized for my having to drive.. that was nice) i went home and was walking into the house and felt like i was missing something, i was, i had left my purse at the theater. shiiiit. luckily theaters are open late.

so there are a couple of inches of snow here and of course all of the account teams "can't make it into work". sissys... :)

i think i am the only one blogging this week. wtf???

movies...

i think that i am going to the movies with NS tonight. if i get my way we will see walk the line.

yesterday i went to the art store to get some stuff for my xmas cards. shiiiiit. i should not go there. i feel like a kid in a candy store when i'm there. somehow i talked myself into buying a small press to make my xmas card making easier. but if i find that it wasn't worth buying i am so returning it. i'm a little suspect of it. there were no instructions or anything in the box. i am going to have to refer to my trusty friend the internet on that one.

tomorrow i am going to the nutcracker with fjk. i've never seen the nutcracker, i'm pretty psyched. i will dress appropriately this time, that's for sure! there is also a wine reception beforehand. yippee skippeee!! i love wine! later that evening JB heard about a rugby xmas party at the briar in brighton.. there is a good possibility that saturday will be a rough morning..

this sunday is the finale of survivor.. get your work done!!

good news to report

i have some good news to report. seeing as its been 2+ weeks since i went out with NS, i was kind of thinking, "eh, its been too long. i think that the window on this one is closing..." but i emailed him yesterday for confirmation of my suspicions, and was pleasantly surprised. he is "definitely" still interested in going to see a movie with me this week, he has been pretty busy work wise, and he even asked how cath was doing...

:)

work with keith

i am working with keith on anger.. she was telling me that anger ties in a lot with weight. she said that when you can release anger and expel it, and not keep it inside, that it does noticeable things to your body. i tend to believe what she says and don't think she is just making this up, so i will be pretty excited to test out her theory. however, if i knew what i was doing wrong/what i could do better, i would probably be doing it already.

that is where i'm going to need some outside help... :) so don't be surprised if i email you some questions... please answer them if i email you so i can make some progress here with my therapy. thanks in advance everyone.

in other news...i'm generating some ideas on a "blog related" art project....but i think i am going to wait till after christmas to start it... :) stay tuned...

gas is still $1.99

i love it! i can still find gas for $1.99 in east lexington. lexington looks like a really nice place to live. expensive, but beautiful. its one of the *good* L towns.

we are having our company party next thursday. hope said she'd go with me. :) and she's gonna wear something sexy. hahhahaha. sicko. i'm excited for it, its at the decordova museum. i like hanging out with coworkers. its funny this time last year LK went with her best friend brian. wow, interesting what a year will bring.

i'm also getting really excited for the 2nd annual mrs claus's night out. we are going back to sonsie and then to clearys. i don't think i've been to clearys since sarah worked there. maybe we'll run into kim my old downstairs neighbor. she frequents that areas bars.

i am beginning to ponder a place to have my 30th b-day dinner. the preliminary guest list is 40 people. i figure half of them will be able to make it. does anyone have any ideas? LK suggested renting the "wee bar" at the castle, that might work. order a bunch of chinese food and the wee bar. we'll have to see, the castle is one of my favorite bars. :) please comment with any ideas you might have for dinner and 20+ people.

cath i need some more xmas ideas from you and dad.

the pics are in!

since noone at the brown household knows how to download pictures, i did. shiiiiiit.

here they are... what thanksgiving isn't complete without a trip to grannies?

another memorable encounter with Dr harden

today was my dr appt with dr harden. in case you are unfamiliar with some of my previous encounters with him, here are the highlights:

1. i went to him back in april 2003 cause i didn't have insurance when i was in the middle of my breakdown to get on some antidepressants. so i tell him that i am sad, i can't sleep, i get anxious when i have to go home (middlesex), i have been crying for weeks, etc. i tell him the whole story, he says, let me get this straight, this guy, doesn't want to be with you, and he wants to date other people? i say yes, he says, uhm, you just need to get over him. no shit, thanks doc.. after that he gave me some ambien for sleeping, paxil for anti depressant/anti anxiety and 600mg ibuprofen for my crying induced headaches. you'd think he gets paid by the amount of prescriptions he writes.

2. the following year i went for my checkup, he comes in and tells me that i have reached a milestone. the 100 lbs overweight milestone. he says that is considered to be grossly, morbidly obese. he says, i'll give you this sheet we give parents that have children that are obese. then he says, i don't think anyone reads it though. then he says, alright, don't gain any more weight...

3. in that same visit, i asked him to write me a prescription for my birth control. he goes off on a tangent about prenatal vitamins and how prenatal vtamins can prevent all kinds of birth defects. so i take that prescription to eckerds to be filled (for sarah, since she is so intent on having a baby out of wedlock) along with my birth control and the pharmacy calls me to ask me if i am pregnant and still taking my BC pills.

so this time, he looks at my file, and says, well, your body mass index is the same, that's good. you're not gaining weight. someday we'd like to see that weight go down. would you consider surgery? wtf.. no i won't consider surgery. jesus.

after the dr's, dad and i stopped at king davids and got gyro salads. soooo good. of course i was sitting out here on the couch in the tv room and i spilled it all over my laptop. right in the keyboard and on the screen. nice!

cathy is doing well. she showered today and walks around a little, and still can manage to hobble out to the porch to "check the mail". she keeps wanting to show me her scars.. no thanks. if she does manage to show me i will take a picture for the blog.

its really snowing here. wet snow. grrrr.

so i finally called back this guy from eharmony on my way home last night, we'll call him J. he lives in andover. i think i might meet up with him next week. he seems interesting enough. he is from long island. thankfully i had him to talk to so i didn't fall asleep. we talked for a few hours i'd say.

tomorrow i am going to movie and dinner with shannon, pete and bill. i am really looking forward to that. i think i'm going to bring my camera.

alright kids, ta-ta..

she's in her room

SB said she saw her in the hallway and catbrown said she was in a lot of pain.. :( SB said they would be giving her painkillers. i am going to try to call again in a half an hour to see how she's doing..

we got word.

catbrown is out of surgery. the dr said it took longer then expected, but there were no complications. as of 315 she was in the recovery room, expecting to be there for 1-2 hours, waking up.

i am going to call again at 430 to get a status update from my peeps on the inside.

catbrown update

i spoke very briefly to SB. cath is still in the OR. she went into surgery at 11am, so hopefully she will be out soon. i would imagine that i will hear from someone, but if i don't hear anything within the hour i will call them again..

keep checking back..

i passed!!

finally, my car passed inspection! i have a valid sticker on it now! i can't help wondering if i waited till tomorrow i could get a 12 sticker instead of an 11. oh well..

cath should be at the hospital right now. they wanted her there for 930, and she was scheduled to have the surgery at 12. supposedly dad and SB are going to the dinosaur barbeque for lunch while she is being gutted. it's going to take 3-4 hours. might as well have a pulled pork swich. shiiiiiiit.

i'll update on this topic after i talk to dad this afternoon.

i can get a job in japan!

finally i figured out emilys little puzzle... i don't know if i could do it again... :)

tonight hope is coming over to make lasagna for us. should be good! i realized when i got home from this weekend that i have a magnum of the swedish hills chardonnay that is so good that i brought to the hunts. wooo who. drinks tonight. i should have put it in the fridge last night. shiiiiit

i am going to get either some garlic bread, or make my own for tonights dinner too. i love "family" dinners. too bad kt and pep keep dropping the ball on the dinner they are supposed to be hosting.

tonight i am supposed to give keith a list of things i want to work on. that's a long list. :)

tomorrow is cathy's surgery. everyone think good thoughts. hopefully the hospital will let her out on friday.

pics

here are the pics from this weekend in case you are interested. there are not many.

nightmares

i've had some strange nightmares lately.

one was that my car was towed from the street, i was parked somewhere and on my way to T&L's engagement party. i had to go in and use their phone to call and find out where my car was. while i was inside at the party brian fieldz showed up, it was strange, he swore at me i think. then i found out that my car was in some lot and a tree had fallen there, and i wouldn't be able to get my car out till 1am at the earliest. i needed it cause i had to go to work the next day. i was also concerned because when your car gets towed they only take cash, and its always more then 100 dollars..

the second nightmare i had this weekend i woke up in the middle of, but i was at like GB's house or something, cause LK was there and other men i didn't know. i happened to be walking by a window in the upstairs and saw that there were 2 men with big shotgun like guns aiming at the house. they were casing the place. then they started firing, so i ran into the room where everyone was and told them, so one guy got up and got a gun and
started firing back at the men, so as i was crawling around in the upstairs and saw FBI agents searching for the shooters. then i saw out the window that they had gone onto the porch across the street. then a huge pipe bomb came sailing towards the house. i crawled into the other room where everyone else seemed unconcerned. then i woke up before i got to see what happened. i was breathing really heavy, it was strange.

record time

i made my best time ever yesterday. i pulled out of the fayetteville mobil at 9pm. i had to get gas, red bull and windshield wiper fluid. and you'll be glad to know i checked my oil. i walked into my house in the 'ville at
115. that is 4 hours and 15 minutes. shiiiiiiit.

only 1 car passed me the entire way, i stopped once to go to the bathroom, and i cruised at 80mph pretty much the entire way. driving at night is really the way to go.

there was even a detour through boston at the end, so had 93N been available from the pike i prob could have done it in exactly 4 hours. wooot!

saturday i saw lori, marisa, kevin and baby riley. she is so little.

i feel like sleeping all day today. :)

random collection of thoughts

its thanksgiving!! i don't know what i was thinking, (or not) there is a foot or two of snow here. i didn't bring boots, a hat, gloves, or a winter coat.

dinner is at 4pm. i can't wait for the stuffing. we are having a turkey and a ham.

last night we went out on the town. sarah got some good pics i think. emily had too much to drink and threw up before bed.

my laundry is almost done. working from home yesterday was good. i got a lot done. i am exhausted, i didn't sleep well on the couch last night.

netflix

:( grrr. i have been sitting on disc 3 season 2 of six feet under for weeks now thinking i had more episodes to watch.. well i didn't. i had seen them all. i hate that!

i watched boondock saints tonight. its supposedly based in boston. only the overhead sweeping shots from the beginning were really boston. willen dafoe was in this one. i like him. the two "irish guys" in the film. are not irish. at some points they have a decent irish accent. sometimes they don't. too bad they could not have used real irish actors. i noticed that there was a "boodock saints II, all saints day" in production.

lazy sunday

so i slept till 2pm today. :) it was so nice.

so my date went well. i got a little nervous before i met him, i even considered not going. but i'm glad i did.

he is a little taller then me, cute, smells nice, dressed nice, was intelligent, has a car, a college education, works with the internet, looks like he lifts weights. overall i was impressed. he paid for dinner, walked me to my car, and expressed interest in hanging out again. :) the conversation didn't lull, but it usually doesn't, i can be very chatty when i want to. he listened and had relevant stories, he also had cute teeth. they have a little bit of a space in them, but cute none the less. i think he might have been a little self conscious about them cause he tended to kind of cover his mouth when he talked. oh, and he had really nice fingers and fingernails. i have nothing negative to report about him or the date, so i am looking forward to hanging out with him again, should that happen.

so warm in bed!

my bed is so warm. it makes me want to stay in it all day. i think i am going to go out to brighton and take that picture of boston that i really want.  maybe while i am at it i will go to JP and take some pictures of the pond too.

yesterday was t-giving at work. they had a catered lunch for the whole co. it was alright. it was fun to sit down and eat with my coworkers, usually i just eat at my desk. later that day we had a party for someone who was leaving. they bought only "boston" beers cause she is moving to san diego. it was cool.

tonight i am having dinner with DG and his sister. i haven't seen him in years. then i'm going dancing with the ladies. should be a great time.

tomorrow i have a date.. and monday a date with a different person. :) hee hee.

i gotta figure out when to drive back this coming weekend. i am kind of thinking about pulling an all nighter on saturday and driving back then, in the night. traffic is going to be horrible on sunday, and wed for that matter. gotta see what cath thinks.

if these are the movie choices for thanksgiving, i say we see walk the line..

a big fat R

LK took me to get my car this morning. thank you LK. jack reprimanded me again. and i have a big fat R on the windshield. apparently after they reset the "check engine light" the car needs time to adjust and reset itself. so i have to go back within 60 days for a reinspection. :( will any of my cars ever pass an inspection on the first try? i doubt it.

so far so good, the engine light has not gone back on.. someones prayers are working. keep em coming. it appears that all the car needed was an oil change. the bad news is i just got the most expensive oil change ever. $176. shiiiit. i am flying to vegas for that much!

oh, cath and mike, can you pick up my prescriptions? i should have 2 waiting at 1pm.

i saw jarhead last night. rrrrrrrrrrrrr.

car update...

i got a stern talking to by my mechanic. he was really pissed that i waited 13K miles to do an oil change. he thinks i might have done some damage to my motor. if the check engine light goes on again soon, that will be bad news... so all of you readers, please say a prayer for my car. i'm not even half way done paying it off. so it looks like that was the problem..

the car will pass inspection since its just mechanical this year. they are replacing the windshield. it'll be ready today at 430, but its not feasible for me to get it tonight, so LK will take me tomorrow. so nice!

i didn't even ask what it was going to cost me.

tonight is the beer tasting, but i don't think i'm going. i am carless for 1, and 2, its from 6-8. so to leave here at 6 is a rarity for one person, and damned near impossible for 2 people.

tomorrow night i am going to see naked jake. woot!

thursday night i might as well not sleep. i have a party after work with fjk, and then i'm going with JB at 12 to see harry potter in downtown boston. that is a "go to bed at 4am" kind of night.

but friday is our "thanksgiving" here at work. should be pretty awesome.. we are having a catered lunch. LK said last year they gave out apple pies to everyone.

all kinds of big news.

my car is most likely "misfiring". that means i will be lucky to have it back by the weekend in my estimation. i am glad i am having it fixed though, its been a long time coming. its been more then 5 months that i have been driving around with an expired inspection sticker. i got my first ticket for that this weekend. :)

big news, breeD is getting married. i have 2 years to get ready for that one. :) in other big news cath told me breeD's old b-f just had a baby with his wife. the old b-f happens to be jennyb's cousin. shiiiiiiiiit.

i got my results back from the doctor. i have a cholesterol of either 144 or 177. whichever one is considered "good". no diseases, and my thyroid tested negative, or normal. whatever it tests for.

i learned that there are at least 28 people going to be at thanksgiving dinner. 28.... i think that is pretty insane.. we have never really had big holidays in the brown family. esp since all the grandparents are dead. this should be a thanksgiving to remember. i just hope there is a boy doing flips at half time.

i am going to miss survivor this week. :( i'll have to tape it. i have a party to go to, then i told JB that i would go with her to see harry potter at midnight. i don't know what i was thinking.. i have a feeling that i am
going to fall asleep again this movie..

good weekend

friday night i did not paint like i intended to... i had some drinks with the girls, and jasper whites summer shack has oyster shooters.

Saturday i went to the isabella stewart gardner museum, the movies (chicken little) and dinner at sabur. good times. sat night i made pulled pork for sundays tailgate. sunday was fun. tim and jimmy were there, as were lees dad and brother. good times.. jen and mike and i sang all the way home...

i got my laundry done this weekend, and i'm taking my car in to the shop tomorrow morning. KT is taking me. shiiiiit. kt's the best.

its christmas in my car!

so my dashboard looks like a xmas tree. the oil light has now come on and is blinking at me. so, when i don't wear my seatbelt, it seriously looks like xmas..

in other news, the "stew" did not dissipate like i imagines overnight, its still there. so on my way to work i called bob the landlord. Supposedly, he's on his way over. LK was able to scoot out of the house before he arrived. i'm crossing my fingers that he can fix the problem, and not blow chunks in the meantime.

i think i'm going to paint tonight. how fun will that be?

week in review...

its been an up and down kinda week...

the week started out okay, till monday night. when eagle eye wanted to talk to me. i've been given detention. call me if you want to know what this means.

so tuesday was not so good a day. i was up very late, the italian family was eliminated from amazing race. and i could only stay awake for 1/2 of adam corolla project. and my brownshu email account got shut down.

wednesday morning the toilet started backing up.. i didn't really think much about it, we have a plunger, i half heartedly tried to unclog it.. no luck.. off to work. while at work KT asked me to go to the movies with her and Mel. the catch was the wanted to see "in her shoes". eh.. not on my list. i am working on this really phat project at work, so i was working late, and KT always works late, so she stopped by at the end of the day and coerced me into going to see IHS. it was a good movie, and i'm glad i saw it. i wouldn't have gone if they hadn't made me. between work and the movie time i needed to run over to the craft store to get some "titanium white" paint. well, i walked out of michael's with two tubes of paint and a candle. i parked near the bath and body works so i could run in and see if they have any fresh new vanilla smells, they don't. so i had a few minutes, and i checked the famous footwear real quick. well. real quickly i picked up 2 new pair of shoes. :) wednesday=good day.

today we are up to our eyeballs in shit. i bought a new plunger cause the $2 one from target doesn't work at all. so i got the $4 one. say a prayer for us that this works. we have a big ole pot of diahreah stew in the toilet bowl right now. i almost puked trying to plunge it..

i am out of the survivor pool. :( bobby jon got the boot. gary found the idol. shiiiiiiiit.

i lost .5 lb this week. sweet!

catbrown challenge report

tuesday morning here, and catbrown reporting in......i was so good this week, journaling, drinking more water...everything in order, and i thought i hadnt lost an ounce. so discouraged when i went to my WW meeting. WELL.....i lost 4 pounds!!!!! i was instantly happy again :). now i am more encouraged to continue my good habits. i will work on more exercise, and keep journaling. that was the key. good luck everyone, i am now moving toward the circle

cars and dating link

this is funny, i totally feel this is true.

in my opnion the car, or lack thereof makes a huge impression. i can think of 2 instances where i was totally unimpressed with the cleanliness of a dates car, or their lack of a car.. it seems superficial, but in reality i think it can be a very real factor.

dum dum dum....

so next monday my car goes in for work. i need a new windshield, an oil change, an inspection, and my check engine light did not go away with the lifting of the rainy weather (cath)... so i am taking bets as to how much it will cost. i'm hoping for $100.

i can't believe this, but i am still sore from this weekend. :( god damn i am out of shape. raking shouldn't put you in traction. shiiiiiit.

i have 16 songs collected for my new mix cd... if i could just get sixteen military wives i would be so happy. there is a $1 reward for anyone that can find me that song by the decemberists..

i love

when people either commit to doing something, or "maybe" commit, and then just don't show up. and of course not calling to confirm they are not coming is great too. people are awesome.

i'm at the bar.. hee hee.

i'm at the sports depot right now, they have wifi. wooot!

i saw elizabethtown this weekend. it was pretty inspiring. not only was i inspired to take a road trip, there was a scene where there was a great painting of martin luther king that makes me want to do a painting to do it that way.

i am so sore from doing yardwork at angela's house yesterday. more sore then i should be. :(

while angela and i did some yardwork rich cut a wall out of the porch. he had to take the windows out and everything. it was so exciting! angela took some pictures, and even a video. they also had this phat portable fire pit.. it was so neat, i need one of those!

alright, i need to socialize..

catbrown challenge update.

I lost 3lbs this week. Woo who! Then we got Chinese food last night. :) a little impromptu girls night, complete with csi and survivor…

I am looking forward to tonight. I think I am going to dinner at this Moroccan restaurant in Inman square, then hopefully to the MFA 1st Friday event. I’ve wanted to go to 1st Friday since I moved here. Shiiiiit…

keep on keeping on.

blood pressure...

****updated*****
i was very dissapointed by my shows last night. 1st, that 70's show sucks now. the acting is bad. when did that happen? plus the actors are getting to old to be playing such kids. 2nd, the trading spouses show is a TBC. wtf?!!! so mad. the woman is insane though. makes me reject religion even more then i already do... the family from the "dark side" as the crazy lady refers to them, is from boxboro. the crazy lady is from louisiana.

so my blood pressure is 114/84, is that good sarah?

my dr doesn't seem to think i have anything wrong with my face. so looks like no broken cheekbones. i am having my cholesterol and thyroid tested. and i told her to test the full gamut of stds.. so she said they can test for gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis. ;) cross your fingers. he he.

as i was driving on the jamaicaway today i realized how much i miss that jamaica pond, and JP in general. :( i gotta get out and take some pics.

i forgot till i checked my mail this AM, this saturday is help out at angela and rich's house. i am so excited!!! i can't wait! i've always wanted to rennovate. now i have a chance to. angela mentioned pulling wires. wooooooot! bring it on!

pictures

i finally got around to uploading some pictures.

here are the ones from frans wedding, and the ones from this halloween.

good good dinner...

i am so excited for dinner tonight! i really couldn't think of anything this morning for dinner, so i looked and looked in my cupboards. i realized i have all the fixin's for a fabulous breakfast dinner.

this is what is on my menu...

pancakes 4 to 6
strawberries 1/2 cup
sausage links 2
eggs 1/4 cup

i have plenty of these ingredients, so if anyone who happens to read this would care to join me you are more then welcome. usually its just me on wed nights!

i saw that tonight is the episode of "trading spouses" that they have been advertising with that woman on it who is screaming like she's the busdriver from southpark. i think i'm gonna watch that at 9, and that 70's show at 8. shiiiiit.

wow. look at the difference

check out the difference between the first day and today. its a miracle. i am a fast healer. shiiiit.



i've got the phatest purple/blood eyeshadow in the world though..



this morning at 7am i was awoken by pounding on a door. at first i thought it was my door. or the house front door. then i woke up a little more and looked out my window, the police were back looking for jeremy. they banged on that door for a good 20 minutes. right before i took my shower i think i heard the mothers voice. so hopefully they got him.

kinda sad

i have been kinda sad lately.. i think it started when LK asked me if i was moving back to syracuse this summer. it has since consumed my almost every waking thought. i have always known that as much as i love MA, and everyone that makes up my life here, i will ultimately end up back in NY, more specifically when the sisters start popping out babies. when i was a child i used to fantasize about moving to colorado, but cath is lucky that the last few times i've been out there there has been a terrible drought.

as i told LK, i feel like i am treading water here in MA right now. i am making enough money to live, but not enough to really pay off my debt or save any. i am at an age right now where i'm anxious to settle down more, and be in a relationship, and make a life plan for the next 5-10 years. i really don't think i can do that here. i would imagine that nieces and nephews are coming sooner then later, and i'd like to meet someone and have some children myself.

i think a lot of this is being brought on by my turning 30 soon. i also think some of it is because everywhere i look my friends are pairing off, squirrelling away with each other, having children, moving on with their lives. i feel stuck. like candy land. :)

looking to syracuse as a possible destination is a little frightening right now. would i be able to work? my instincts say no.... unless i could change professions.. or work remotely for my current job.

ugh, its all so overwhelming... i think i need to draw out a plan and
tackle each little part bit by bit.. make a list of sorts.

well, i started thinking about this, and thinking about timelines, work makes me think in terms of quarters. so we are at the beginning of 4th quarter now, my lease isn't up until the end of 2nd quarter... so i've got 75 cents to figure this all out...

ugh, my head is swimming...

onto other news, i saw a ferrari today. a kind i've never seen before.. it was sweet.

looking better!

so i think my eye is looking much better today..



the concerts last night were fun. the BEP were great, although i didn't think fergie looked as glamourous as she usually does. she looked kinda puffy. i kinda kept wondering through each show if i was rally at a dance recital. i'd say the focus of the shoes were about 75% dancing, 25% singing.

gwen's show was strange. she only performed her new album, no "no doubt". the harajuku girls were definitely worth seeing, great dancers. gwen had like 6-7 costume changes.

the best part of the evening was sitting next to katie who slept through half of gwen, easily. and when she wasn't sleeping she was telling stories about peeing in a tupperware container in the back of her parents car as a kid, then pouring it out the family car's window...

big news... last night and this morning i nailclipped the chunks of flappy skin off my palm. let the healing begin!

also big news. as of this AM with my jeans on i am 4 lbs down from last thursday night. wooo who!

how'd you do cath?

hi ho hi ho

its off to work i go.

it looks so oozing! cause of the neosporin.

does anyone know where my tiara thing is? i distinctly remember telling
hope and keith (i think) to make sure to get it. it fell off my head, adn
it was on the ground while i was trying to stand up...

arnica is my friend

i am kind of loving this arnica. i had to brave the outside world today to go to wild oats and get the arnica. i have been taking the little sugar like pills like a junkie and the gel is very soothing, it has some sort of alcohol in it, so it cools when it goes on.

i just remembered that i have a concert to go to tomorrow night. then i stopped and thought about it and i have a pretty busy schedule this coming week. yay!

monday - concert at the banknorth garden
tuesday - meeting with keith in harvard square
wednesday - hmm. nothing i don't think, thank god
thursday - dr appt with my primary care, then WW.
friday - meeting with keith

and work all week. :)

day 2. still, not so good...

at least i was able to get my contact in... i knew my left knee was aching, but i couldn't bring myself to look why. well, its scratched to shit... yay! and my right palm is losing chunks of flesh. i had to use the nail clipper this morning to get some of the flaps of skin off.

let this be a lesson, say no to alcohol! can't wait for work tomorrow.

not so good. al.

yay i have a black eye! my first one...

oh, i forgot..

i forgot to mention to everyone that i got a cat.. here she is with my friend gertrude..



i call her tinkerbell.

grrrrrr...

grrrrr. my weekend is off to a bad start.

first off, my costume is not going to work. should i return all the stuff i bought at modells? i kinda feel like i should. esp after what happened this morning.. so i don't really have a costume for tonight. that's okay. i'll be more comfortable anyway.

then, this morning i go out to my car, and there is a ticket. i'm thinking, it for parking too close to an intersection, or something like that. its for street cleaning! street cleaning on the other street. i am so pissed. there were no spots on my street last night, so i parked around the corner. i hate my neighborhood. the best part is, i walked out of the house at 851. the ticket time is 846. $50.... F-somerville.

also. noone wants to go to the beer festival with me on saturday. everyone i know sucks.

but i did lose a pound this week. despite all the halloween candy i ate yesterday, before weigh in.

a kewl discovery....

my friend at work showed me this excel spreadsheet she has that calculates all the WW info you could want to know. its so awesome, it even keeps track of the flex points on the latest version of the plan. let me know if you want me to send it to you.. it's making me want to eat all kinds of stuff, just so i can enter it into my sheet and have it calculate the points, etc. it'll figure out points for you even!

another thing i found today was the santa fe farms chocolate mint cookies that i used to eat back in the day. they are in a new package. 4 mini cookies for 1 point. delicious!

i'm going to try my hand at making polenta bruschetta for dinner tonight. :) yum! i've had this polenta forever now, time to do something with it.

movies, movies, movies.

lately i have been looking at my netflix membership and figuring out how many movies i watch per month, etc. i have decided that i don't watch enough movies. i am not getting my money's worth out of netflix. so, i have seen a bunch of movies lately.
here are some thoughts on the movies i've seen.

The Motorcycle Diaries
i liked this movie a lot. it was about che guevara and his friend riding a motorcycle/hitchhiking all across south america. it was in subtitles and spanish. it really humanized che guevara..  plus the lead guy, gael garcia bernal is very hot... :)

Moonlight Mile
this was a decent movie, the beginning was slow, but jake gyllenhaal was in it. i really liked the main actress, Ellen Pompeo, i found out she is from everett, ma. then while i am at IMDB i realize she is "dr gray" of gray's anatomy....

Igby Goes Down
i wrote abt this one already. sooooo good.

Six Feet Under: Season 2: Disc 1
i'm rewatching this series, cause catbrowns taping isn't always consistent... and i'm not sure how many episodes i've missed along the way, and its nice to watch them in order. so far this season, rico and his wife bought a house, nate and brenda are getting along fine. david is not dating keith yet. claire is still dating gabe, but he's doing bad things, stealing embalming fluid, etc... ruth is going to these cult meetings to "take back her house".

harpoon beer forum...

seeing as i didn't go to work i shouldn't have gone to the beer forum, but i did. :)

the premise: give feeback on a new beer. harpoon recently had made a beer as part of their 100 barrels series that was insanely popular. it was a framboise. a Belgian-style fruit lambic. they are flirting with the idea of releasing a line of beer based on their UFO that has rasberry overtones.

the overtones were completely lost on me. actually the whole taste was lost on me really. i couldn't smell or taste much. we sampled 4 different kinds. it was cool. there were about 13-14 people there. more men then women, but i'd say 6 women..after we sampled the beer and recorded our thoughts they gave us more beer (i had their new 100 barrel series "imperial stout") and asked us about beer in general, what we liked, what we had in our fridges, what types of cars would we compare harpoon to and some of the other "favorite" beers we came up with. then we talked about the FOH program. very interesting stuff.

they have tours and tastings at the brewery on saturdays at 3. or you can set up a private tour if you can get 15 people together. that would be fun i think...

i learned of some new beer i want to try. Pyramid apricot-weizen, and Lindemanns peach ale...

let me know if you see those two beers!

catbrown challenge report

good evening, as you know i had to weigh in tonight and i lost 3 pounds!!!!!! i am so excited, and have a renewed enthusiasm to be good this week too. i do think that the journaling helped me so much. my day is monday, but yours may be a different day so be sure to share with our fellow supporters so we can help each other. i will post a new strategy to work on for the week on saturday. keep up the good work, it's worth it.

so much learning this weekend.

wow, i learned so much this weekend.

1. i learned that my therapist is not good with friday afternoon appointments. for the 2nd week in a row she was unable to make it on time or even 45 minutes late for my 330 appt. last friday i rescheduled for later that night, this friday i just told her to forget it. so mad! i waited in her hallway (the reception room door was locked) for 30 minutes with no phone call, nor did she show up. so i called her VM and left at 4. ugh.

2. i learned that the vegetarian festival is pretty much the same year after year.. and that instead of beet salad and fake shrimp, they should be giving away free deodorant. damn those hippies don't seem to care about personal hygiene.. it's downright gross. fjk and i watched a sushi demonstration. holy comedy. first of all the "olympic gold medal" winning chef was very slow. it took him an hour to make 4 rolls. someone in the audience asked "what kind of fish are you putting in these rolls?" wtf? did she not know where she was? we were at a vegetarian festival. jesus christ, try to follow along.

3. i learned that 'from justin to kelly' is a horrible movie. but making fun of it the whole way through makes it tolerable. along that same note, i learned that "sleepovers" when you are in your late 20's just aren't the same as when you are in your late teens/early 20's. much more tame.

4. i learned a lot of things at the ballet today. first, everyone and their grandmother (literally) goes on sunday afternoons. second, i learned that at a ballet, there is no talking or singing by the characters. its silent, the orchestra makes all the sound that you hear. the dancers just dance.
that's it. third, you're expected to dress up when you go. jeans, new balance sneakers and a fleece pullover don't really cut it.. i don't know why i didn't think to wear something more dressy. oops. fourth, children can't sit still. there were three girls sitting next to me in their winter tights and pink and furry skirts, and they wiggled and giggled and talked and ate candy the entire 2.5 hours. i felt like pinching them and stealing their twizzlers.

5. i learned that my allergies are slowly killing me. i am going to pass out from dehydration from the amount of fluids that have poured out of my nose today.

it's me catbrown!!!!!!!!!

ok, i am proposing a challenge. weigh in today, and put your goal at a 10% weight loss. i am using the Weight watcher method, but you can choose your plan. weigh in the same day and post your progress. remember we can support each other and share ideas and recipes, and encouragement. try real hard to make this happen. Just think of how good it will feel to enjoy the holidays and not feel overstuffed in our clothes. I think if we all get control now, the holidays can be an enjoyable friends and family share time, instead of a food-fest. my one tip for the week is to journal everything you eat. do this for one week, and we will work on another segment of a healthy lifestyle next week. remember to take this one week at a time (or one meal at a time). each successful choice makes us stronger. one thing i keep in mind when saying no to something not on program, is that i can always have that another time, just not now. for now i will say no. be strong, good luck and healthy eating.

i won!

there are a couple of things worth mentioning from yesterday that i failed to blog.

1. i knew i had to wake up early yesterday, but i could not remember why. so as the minutes ticked by i racked my brain. 7:35 nothing. 7:45 nope. 7:55, i remember that its street cleaning. i have to have my car off the street by 8am or i will get another $50 ticket. shit. i jumped up, took a shower, washing the hair dye out of my hair and dressed in record time. i was walking out of the house at 8:20. and an angel must be watching over me because unless someone stole it, NO TICKET! yay! $50 richer!

2. as i was sitting in the "interview" with the lawyer guy yesterday he stops and asks me if he can ask me a question. i really hate that "can i ask you a question?" question. its never anything good... he says, "are you wicca?", i'm like, "noooooo". he's like, "oh, you have that look about you... my wife is wicca.". wtf! a new kind of insult. now i look like a witch! jesus...

3. i answered a survey for the FOH (friends of harpoon), and i was chosen to participate in a focus group on monday. sooo exciting! i'll tell ya all about it on tuesday.

thank you to all of you that answered my homework for keith today. i am meeting with her in a little over an hour. i kinda wish i didn't have to come back to work today, cause i think its going to be a tough session. i'm going to come back to work looking like someone punched me in the face. yay!

i gained 2.8 lbs at WW last night. so i weigh almost more then i did when i started about 2 mos ago. go me!!! paying all this money to gain weight! i think i need to start actually counting points and not eating like i am on death row and its my last meal ever. i bet exercise would help too. :(

who wants to see a movie tonight?

weekend plans...

so the weekend is almost upon us. this weekend the pats have a bye, not
that i've watched them in weeks. but i am going to the ballet on sunday
with fjk. woot. i've never been to a ballet. very exciting.

saturday i am going to the vegetarian festival. fjk and i are going to try
to catch the demonstration on vegi-nori. i think that means vegetarian sushi.

saturday night is girls night. it has been down graded from the go all
out,have a blast in boston night we planned MONTHS ago, to a low key, braid
each others hair, eat ice cream and watch bad movies kind of night in the
'ville. i kinda wish we were at least going out to dinner. i've had this
night penned into my calendar all summer practically. :(

friday i have no plans. maybe i'll go see a movie.

best news ever!

i can't believe i forgot to mention this in my earlier post.

i finished the debt management program that i entered way back when in feb of 2001. i successfully paid off 3 maxed out credit cards, my old car loan, and my apple computer loan from college. i should look at my records as to how much the total debt was. it was monumental at the time. i truly felt like i was drowning.

the bad news is i have racked up about 10K more in new credit cards since i went to ireland 2 years ago... i am however going to take the newly freed up cash i was using to pay the debt company and put it systematically towards these two new credit cards. :) i'm so thrilled! happy days!

i also forgot to mention that i'm loving the facial hair on the astros... i didn't think andy pettitte could look any better, and even the rocket looks good. those yankees and their stupid dress codes suck.

more stunning news, my stitches came out sometime during lunch today.... omigod!!!! i must have eaten them. i'll have to check my stool..

wine for dinner

i just had wine for dinner last night. :) hee hee. love.

i have all my ducks in a row right now. i took off the days i needed to in
december, (2nd and 27-30th) i arranged for a dr's appt in oneida on the
2nd. i called my dr. in west roxbury and am going to have a fasting
cholesterol test taken (think i need anything else cath?) when i go in
november.

i have that meeting with the insurance guy for my old company in 30
minutes. i hear he's sweaty and gross. can't wait! i've also been advised
not to shake his hand. how do you do that? that's rude. i'm gonna get an
iced tea while i am there. yippeee skippeee!

survivor is on tonight. woot! and i am going to WW tonight. i have skipped
the last 2 times and now cath is proposing a contest. does anyone want to
join back up with me? WW=good.

igby goes down

i just watched igby goes down. great fucking movie. very funny and very tragic. just what i like, i highly recommend it to everyone. :) so many actors are in it, and i think i am in love with keiran culkin, very talented.

something else that is great is long point winery's 2003 sangiovese. very buttery and dry.

my allergies are killing me lately. really killing me.

so i dyed my hair tonight. i kind of ran out of dye, and i am kind of concerned that i missed some spots in the back center of my head.. crossing my fingers that i didn't. i would imagine that if i did i will look like emily when she dyed a spot in the middle of her hair when she was a teenager.

i meant to write that i had another vivid strange dream. this time, i dreamt i was waiting for a train and i ran across a girl from college we used to call dakoda. she looked identically the same as she used to. we chit chatted, she's still in rochester, i asked her if she was taking the train out that way. she said no, she's going to allston when she parked her ferrari. i was like, "wow,you're doing really well then".... she said "well, chad and i don't have any college loans to pay back, so all the money we have made since then has just been profit". and she confirmed to me that her son was 3 years old. then her train came and we waved goodbye. after that i saw a friend i knew in high school named prachi. she was going the same way as i was. i got on the train with her, and realized that while i was talking to dakoda i had let a bunch of trains go by me, and i was at least an hour late to where i had to go...

did i mention that this is really really great wine?

updated to do list..

i'm so much more productive when i have a list... :) for those of you keeping track...

laundry - probably tonight
vaccuum the living room, its gross
clean the bathroom, i can't remember the last time i cleaned it. its even grosser.
dye my hair purple
watch my shows - tue, thurs
figure out what to do about my car and its numerous repairs, maybe try another autozone.
start xmas cards. i am going to attempt to hand do them this year, after a 2 year hiatus.

animal carnage everywhere....

this morning on my ride into work i saw two dead raccoons and one dead
squirrel. shiiiiiiiit.

so i had a very interesting session with keith last night. she is so
positive and insightful its amazing. i guess it goes hand in hand with her
line of work, but i've never talked to anyone this good. she always ends
the session with what i like to think of as a "glimmer of hope".. this
probably makes no sense... oh well. i am working right now on analyzing
what i have to offer as far as friendships and relationships go, and what i
get from my friendships and relationships. i am kinda stumped on what i
have to offer, and what my "marketable" qualities are, so in order to get a
better idea i am going to be polling a few of you. :) lucky you.

when i got home from work yesterday LK had already taken out the trash and recycling. soooo exciting!

i just love that adam corolla show. i just realized too he has an interview
type show on at midnight on comedy central. if only i had dvr, or tivo.

dam!

i want that dam to break in taunton so bad! LK and i were talking last
night about how dumb it is that people try to hold back water, and then
build houses right there. DUMB! just like the levees in NO. water carved
out the grand canyon, people. do the engineers really think that some
wooden age old damn in southern massachusetts is going to keep it at bay?

i talked to this lawyer today that has been calling me for months about a lawsuit against my former employers in JP. i am going to have to meet with him on thursday to give him a statement about what i didn't see. grrrr. if i have to go to court over this i am going to be so mad! i've been avoiding this guys calls for at least 5 months.. :)

gas heater is fixed.

so the landlord came by last night and got it going, he played around with the thermo-coupling, apparently it has to be "real close" to the gas line to keep the pilot going.. there was a point in there that he thought we were going to need a new one.

because of the massive amounts of heat this thing is supposed to give off we had to move the TV and the beetle car collection. i love to rearrange! i decided to use one of my boat anchors (dead cpus) to prop up my television a little higher on top of my refrigerator. its a little higher now, i could see the astros blow it when they were 1 strike away from being in the world series last night.

i didn't get to my laundry so i have to do it tonight, but last night wasn't a complete waste, i cleaned the bathroom and LK and i vacuumed the living room.

revised to do list:
laundry - probably tonight
vaccuum the living room, its gross
clean the bathroom, i can't remember the last time i cleaned it. its even grosser.
dye my hair purple
watch my shows - tue, thurs
figure out what to do about my car and its numerous repairs, maybe try another autozone.
start xmas cards. i am going to attempt to hand do them this year, after a 2 year hiatus.

warming up the house.

the house was very warm last night after i got the kitchen heater working. there was at least a 5-7 degree difference between my bedroom (open window) and the rest of the house. i asked chuck if the gas heaters were expensive, and he said no, less then the electric. so that is good, although, ours is already more then the electric... and its not even winter yet... i don't know.

i also turned up the temperature on our hot water heater in the basement, i was unimpressed by the lack of really hot water in the shower before. now its smokin'! yeah!

i am kind of glad the white sox won the pennant. one more game of freddy garcia! rrrrrrrr. not to mention, andy pettitte tonight. rrrrrrr. pettitte vs garcia possibly? what a game that would be. :)

to do list for this week:
laundry - probably tonight
vaccuum the living room, its gross
clean the bathroom, i can't remember the last time i cleaned it. its even grosser.
dye my hair purple
watch my shows - tue, thurs
figure out what to do about my car and its numerous repairs, maybe try another autozone.
start xmas cards. i am going to attempt to hand do them this year, after a 2 year hiatus.

so cold!!!

it got really cold here all of a sudden...

so cold that i have been researching for two movies now how to start up the ancient heating system that has been doubling as a table here in my living room. its a "duo-therm" something, and all i find when i type that in is RV/camper related things. . i checked the basement even, thinking maybe i needed to turn the gas on. nope. so i resorted to ringing chuck and sarah's doorbell and begging for help. chuck came down (smelling like pot) and showed me how to light it, but we couldn't get it to light. i used the same technique though and got the furnace in the kitchen to light though.

its actually giving off quite a bit of heat so far.

the apple pie was delicious. very apple-y.



i am renting six feet under season 2. the first disk has only 2 episodes on it. wtf??? its gonna take me forever to watch this season. they should put at least 4 episodes on each disk, shiiiiiiiit.

apple pie

making apple pie is harder then i thought. i didn't realize that i had to peel the apples. i don't have a peeler or a pie pan or nutmeg. i hope the nutmeg doesn't matter, it was only half a teaspoon. i bought disposable pans for the pie. also, i'm not sure if i did the crust right, it said to fold it and flute it, not so sure was fluting is...

i am watching hotel rwanda right now. i have heard it is very depressing and hard to watch, very bloody. its about african genocide, the sleeve compares it to schindlers list. don cheadle is in it. after this i am going to watch "the woodsman", that is about a child molester. i'm having an uplifting sunday afternoon.

i went to autozone to have my "check engine light" problem diagnosed. actually i went to 2 autozones. the first one refused because they were understaffed, they couldn't afford to have someone come outside and check my car. the 2nd place had 2 people come out to look for the plug that they needed to plug into their machine to see what the problem was. . so i still have no idea what is wrong with my car. but it does need an oil change, a new windshield, an inspection and whatever is ailing the engine.

damn this pie smells good.

last night i helped out at mikes poker tournament. it was fun. then we played some ourselves, i lost 3 times, but a bunch of our beers got drunk! wooo who!

my cheek is still sore. the tooth part, not so much, but the cheek is very sore. it must be bruised really bad. i am still taking ibuprofens 4 days later.

shoot...

Darn… I wonder if there is a way around this…

Dear Rebecca, thank you for writing and inquiring about the Haudenosaunee Promise. The Promise is for entering or transfer students in pursuit of their first bachelor's degree. There are several other criteria and if you send me your address I will mail information to you. We don't have our website up quite yet in this information.

Also, you will need to be admitted to Syracuse University under the normal admissions requirements. To learn more about these and programs at Syracuse and to get an application, please go to http://admissions.syr.edu and review the information there as well as fill out a request for information form.

PS. Can you tell I am loving this “email the blog” thing?

strangest dream

This is the dream I had last night. I’m thinking it was because I woke up at 3:30 needing to take some ibuprofen, but who knows…

 

I go to FK’s house to pick her up and give her a ride to work. I don’t know how to drive to her work, so she is giving me directions as we go. We end up back at my house (which happens to be in the stop and shop). Oh, I should mention that I was early to FK’s house, so I decide to park in the metered lot across the street from her house and use that extra time to clean out my car. So we’re at the S&S, and its 720, we don’t have time to be at my house that late. But since we are there I decide to run in and grab my ibuprofens. I see FK, and we get distracted by the cute Charlie Brown Halloween decorations, and I remember that while I am there I should pick up some diet cherry pepsi. I’m running through the aisles looking for my apartment aisle, but the merchandisers are there putting out all the Christmas merchandise, like tv’s and stereos, and there are cords everywhere, and I can’t get through. So I stop one of them and ask which aisle are the apartments? He shrugs, and I keep going, then I realize that I am not at stop and shop, I’m at Shaws.

 

i'm alive!

the good news is my tooth is gone, it didn't hurt, and it took about 6 minutes, start to finish, from novacaine to gauze.. i could hear the roots ripping out. :( but i didn't really feel it.

the better news is he didn't break my jaw.

the bad news is i had to have a stitch, he said they had to cut the gums a little bit. :( i am not stitch free anymore!

the worse news is it cost $83. shiiiiiit.

i saw the tooth, it was pretty cool. all in one piece. he told me i could have it, but then i forgot it.

girl dinner was cancelled, so sad. pep is too sick. i think we should all go out to dinner instead. el guapo is calling!

london is a no-go

I got the word today that going to London this quarter is a no-go. Maybe next quarter.. that is actually a relief, cause I can’t really afford it right now. Phew. I’ll be sure to let you know if I am goig next quarter, maybe someone will join me.. I hear London is fun.

 

i added pics...

I added pictures to the weekend posting. Check it out!

Today I am having my only wisdom tooth pulled. I wasn't nervous until last night when I started thinking about how they are going to do it. My dad said they stick a tool that looks like the one you use to get nuts out of their shells down into your gums and pull it out. :( I just hope I can't feel it. I think I might rather have a root canal at this point...

I watched some of the amazing race last night. It was pretty good. I was talking to LK so I missed the last 15 min or so. L who got kicked off? I think my favorite team this season is the team with the two little kids. I also think that the team with the step mom is pretty humorous. She thinks they all get along swimmingly, but the boy thinks "she's a bitch!"

bake sale

we are having a bake sale at work tomorrow. however, i will be having my
wisdom tooth ripped out of my jaw at the same time, so i will not be able
to participate in the festivities. :( how sad. i think that peanut butter
chews would have been a hit too. oh well.

i finally got some pictures of my friends new baby. she was born Friday,
Sept. 16th at 11:52am and she weighed in at 7 pounds 9 ounces and is 22
inches long. she was a little jaundiced so they had her dressed up like a
glow worm.


riley elizabeth burns

i am aiming to download the weekends pics to my camera and get them up tonight, after my appt with keith. then i will finish updating deannas
website. shiiiiit. i will be hella busy.

email test

damn you people with your car problems! you're rubbing off on me. this
morning on my way to work my check engine light went on! wtf!!! i don't
think i've ever seen a check engine light, ever!

i can't wait to get paid on thursday. i am in the red this pay period. :(

weekends...

what a nice fun outdoorsy weekend i had!

friday after my meetng with keith LK and i drank wine and watched tv and talked about cars.. after the red sox were swept. :(

saturday morning i went to floras house and ate breakfast with her and her 3 visiting friends. then we went to the king richards faire. it was rainy/drizzly the whole day. i bought a headband of sorts. its kinda cool. not sure when i'll wear it, but it was something i had to have at the time... afterwards we went to moody street to the skellig and had a couple of drinks, then went to the indian place up the street to have dinner. it was so exciting to go to an ethnic restaurant with so many people who were excited about that type of food.


click on the picture for the whole album...

saturday night was the first time in a while that i didn't get lost coming home from floras.

did anyone see SNL last night? jon heder was on, (napolean dynomite). i fell asleep during the news.

today i went apple picking with flora and her friends (molly, tank and bruce). i bought 7-8 cortland apples. i even ate a couple and my gums didn't swell up. very exciting. i'm hoping to make a pie out of them.

we went out for thai in arlington after the apple picking, again, so good.

i will upload some pics to this post once i download them from my camera. flora, dont' forget to send me mollys address.. actually, do tank and bruce have them too? i would imagine so..

new and improved friend gauge

when my sisters and i were kids we used to gauge how important a friend was by asking the question, "would you invite them to your birthday party?" and to this day to some degree i still gauge friends that way. but when i was talking to my mom last night she suggested another measure. probably a more fitting version since we aren't so inclined to have birthday parties anymore..

"would you visit them if they were in the hospital? would they visit you?"

this is something that is kind of telling, i've been going through different scenarios in my head about this since...

dinner and drinks...

Dinner with kitty and her friends was nice. We went to the border café. Then we went to a couple of bars. Kitty is so funny, she was asking for roofies, literally!

Tonight is WW. I will be highly surprised if I have lost an ounce. I’ll probably gain. Then its survivor and csi, woot! I want to get to bed early tonight too, if possible. Maybe I’ll watch csi from bed.

Wow. Not much to report today.

dinner with kitty

Kitty is coming into town tonight. I’m going to have dinner with her and her friend and her friend’s daughter. I think they are even staying in Somerville. We are supposed to have Mexican. Yum..

my tooth will be pulled next wednesday, one week from today. yay!

the joke about me cutting my hair has become quite a passionate thing. i've had more then one person pretty much forbid me to cut my hair... how funny. i might have to do it just cause i'm being threatened not to.

did anyone else watch the "adam corolla project" last night? i love AC. i can't get enough. i'm also surprised that he is married, and that she has some weird leg thing going on...

best day ever!!!

So today was dentist appt part 2. he told me that he thought he saw a cavity during the cleaning, and today I was to go back for a checkup on my bleeding gums and he was going to look at the x-rays and see if there were more cavities.

Well, the gums are much better he said, and there is only one cavity, but it’s in my wisdom tooth, and he referred me to an oral surgeon to have the whole tooth removed.

So at the end of the day, no cavities, only one wisdom tooth in my whole head, and I don’t need to go back for 6 mths… and he said that since the wisdom tooth is so grown in it should be no problem to pull, and I might not even need stitches.

Woo who. What If I didn’t need stitches? Then I will have lived for almost 30 years with no stitches. Shiiiiiit. But what if he breaks my jaw? Not good. :) I’ll pray that doesn’t happen.

I have the best dentist in the world!!

On a side note, in case you are hella confused cath wrote that last post abt the purple hair.. but I have my own funny hair story. I was telling KT yesterday that I might cut my hair, her instinctual question was “how short?” and I pointed to my cheekbones. She makes a face and says matter of factly, “oh, you would look soooo ugly”… thanks KT…

The chili I made yesterday was sooo good. I brought some for lunch even. Yum…I love crock pots.

Girls dinner is coming up in a couple thursdays. I’m psyched! mexican this time!

Sox play today at 4:09. get your work done!

purple hair

i just had to share what happened to me last night!!!!!! SB insists i need to "cover that gray" hair. sooooooo i buy some semi-permanent (thank GOD!!!!!!) dark brown auburn color. come home ,slap it on (should have known there would be trouble when it goes on PURPLE!!!!!!!!!), leave it on the recommended 10 minutes, rinse it off and my hair is Boston Red SOX red. sarah and mike convince me it's not "that bad".
i went to work, and every one in school looked at me and said "oh, you changed your hair????? The gym teacher (he's quite the character) yells across the entire playground, blacktop area "hey Mrs. Brown", and points to his hair. I yell back across the entire playground , "I did it for the team!!!!!!"
One little 4th grade boy asked me why my hair is red?!?!?! i said oh i changed my color, do you like it? he said "oh no, it's disgusting!!!!!" So i treck to Eckerd's after school and get the mediom brown coloring. Now it's better, a toned down Purplish/Red. Luckily it should wash out in 28 washings. HMMMMMMMMMMM how many washings could i get in before work on Wednesday??????? without my hair falling out!

huge sigh of relief

well the weekend is over!! i made it thru with no tears, no puking, nor did i die of disentary... phew!

friday night after my nails, i went and watched the sox beat the yankees at pj ryans in the 'ville with a couple of coworkers. good times, good times. mcgouns should hire that bartender/waitress. the place was pretty packed, yet she still managed to tend bar, and deliver food, and bus empty dishes back to the kitchen. she was like superwoman!

saturday was the wedding i've been nervous abt for a month solid. i saw all the alphabet people, including NS and his new gf. thankfully he didn't look that good, that was easier to take. :) i didn't talk to him though.. he was the only one i didn't at least say hi to. oh well. franny looked so good. her dress was beautiful. she threw her bouquet only to jen up on the stage, after she thanked her for setting her and tim up at the red sox/seahawks game. it was cute. i stayed until about 430, then i headed home to prepare for the wine party. there was a "post wedding" party at the hotel that i did not attend.



the wine party was fun. angela came over early so LK could dye her hair while i cleaned the backyard and went grocery shopping for the finger foods. we set the new "party table" up in the backyard and brought out my torch lamp. it was cozy. cyarleigh and and her man came. it was nice, i haven't seen her since brackett st. it was really nice to catch up with her/them. apparently she had a really hard time getting her deposit back from our old landlord. some crazy stories, i'm glad i'm outta there..

this is a good story from sat.. LK and her bf leave early. so its hoper, dan and angela and i just hanging out. everyone decides that its time to go, but angela can't find her bag or purse. turns out george of the jungle mistakingly put it in their car, and they took it out to framingham. so they had to turn around and bring it back, so we decide to play catchphrase while we wait, and hope goes to lay down in LK's bed. lk shows up drops of the bag, leaves, and angela and dan get ready to leave. dan decides to play a little joke on hope and busts into the room yelling that there is a fire.. i think hope leapt straight from the bed into the living room. beating the shit out of dan on her way. it was one of the meanest and funniest things i have ever seen. i still get hysterical thinking about it. :) sorry hope..



yesterday i swept and mopped the kitchen before i went to the theater in woburn to watch the sox games with a coworker. it was neat to watch the game on the big screen and drink beers in the theater.

so who's in for trivia on tuesday?

adding to the blog

ok, i was able to repost to the blog. that is a miracle. have tara go to the bogger icon in the left hand corner (orange) and clic, enter her name and password and she should get to post to your blog. clic on the green PLUS sign and add her post. if i can do it, she can.
yes the wine tour was so much fun, i loved LK's interpretation of it, and i guess she missed out on a lot having sisters so close in age. oh the drama. arent we all miserable bitches??????
anyway i had a blast and hanging with peg and mike was a highlight. thanks peg and mike for inviting us all.

yay! its friday!

i'm so excited it friday... last night watching the red sox game was very stressful.. i'm getting those ridiculously tense feelings. that sick to my stomach, i can't watch anymore feelings.

tonight is the first game in the last series of the season... and its against the yankees. :( stress..

i'm getting a manicure/pedicure tonight then i might have dinner with KT and her roommate and watch the game somewhere.

i'll be so excited when the wedding is over tomorrow.

LK and i are having people over for wine sat night. good times.

CSI was good last night. love that warrick brown. i hope they show his wife soon.

whoa!!!

my trusty google desktop is telling me that fayetteville is 20 degrees cooler then we are right now. holy crap. then i just read this story, and power is out all over CNY, shiiiiiiit.

the corpse bride was kinda cute. it was short 1.5 hours... the night to go to the movies is wed night. it was dead. so awesome, and the pretzel nuggets were fresh out of the oven. apparently katie had never had them before, you would have thought someone gave her crack. she must have said about 35 times how much she loved the pretzels.

tonight is my companies dinner at the top of the hub. i'm not allowed to go, but jen and LK are going. :( so jealous. i haven't heard anything abt the bachelorette party, so i think i am just going to end up watching survivor and eating popcorn. and csi.

i had my eyebrows waxed at lunch today cause when i tried to go last night the 3 nail salons i went to near katies house couldn't do it. and right before i went into the first one i got a real urgency to go to the bathroom (if you know what i mean), but they didn't have waxing, so i hobbled across the street to the 2nd place, nada, at this point i'm seriously considering going #2 behind someones car on mass ave in arlington. it just wasn't going to wait, it was burning its way out! luckily the movie theater was kind enough to let me go there, they must have seen the beads of sweat running down my face and the terror in my eyes...

***update***
i forgot to mention my latest "neighbor" story...

i was awoken last night at 230 to the neighbors yelling at each other about cigarettes. from what i can tell there is a woman and her son that live next door, maybe a girl too, but she may just be a girlfriend of the son... so anyway, the son is demanding a cigarette from the mother, the mother is saying that she is not going to give "jeremy" her last cigarette, then she tells him to go to bed. he says he's not going until he gets a cigarette. then he says, "and don't wake me up tomorrow". she claims she's going to. such trash these people are.

wtf!!!! why are they up at 230 in the morning?

new stuff

i am liking my new phone more and more by the day.. the first thing that is so great about it is the voice dial. i have never had voice dial. but now i can just click a button, say a name and the phone starts dialing! the only drawback is that my voice doesn't register through my headset... so i have to detach the headset, start up the call, and reattach the headset. not that big a deal.

i also have a voice memo feature, which comes in so handy when i'm in the car and i think of something i want to blog or a song i want to add to my list of songs to download.

and the ring is much louder then my old phone. that was something that i always wished for my old phone. now i have it woooot!

i went to deposit a check and pick up my contacts at lunch today, and i got all the way to the eye dr's (in the 'ville) and they are closed on wed's.. wtf!

i am getting my eyebrows waxed tonight, and then KT and i are going to see corpse bride. i love the movie theater!

oh, tim and fran loved the gift. :)

shady neighbors

my bedroom window is about 10 feet from the front door of the house next door. i have grown somewhat used to people banging on the door of the house next door at all hours of the night. i can hear their phone ring, the toilet flush, the cat being called for, the television sometimes, the mom whining the son's name, (jeremy), and most annoying their alarm clock going off at 6am.

so this morning when i was getting ready for work in the 7 o clock hour there is banging on the door. i am pissed!! wtf??? so i hear the people knocking and knocking, and saying things like, "i think they are avoiding us"... its almost 8am now and i'm leaving for work, i walk out my door and to my car and one of the men (3 of them) in the street says, "miss brown...", i'm shocked that he knows my name. "we're with the somerville force, do you know this boy? does he live here? is he home, have you seen him?", he holds up a picture of a late teenaged boy.. it could be the kid next door, but it could be one of his punk friends. i tell him i'm not really sure what the kid next door looks like, but i know a boy lives there.

ugh. no wonder none of the houses on my block are selling...

i heard the boy and his friends out there tonight though, so apparently he's not in jail yet. :) i'll check the police report and see what i can find.